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  • Steven Corn

10 Best and Worst Things To Say To Someone in Grief

I have had to write too many condolences to friends and family that have lost a close relative (usually a parent). I've found these letters or emails to be incredibly awkward and I have often been stymied by what to say. After all, what can you say that will make a difference?

I came across this list from Following this guideline has been incredibly helpful with writing thoughtful condolence letters. I usually end up by saying something like:

"Instead of saying [insert the best or worst things], I will simply share your grief.  I will give you a hug next time I see you.  You’ll be in my thoughts.  And I will be a phone call away if you need to have a sympathetic ear.  I could see the love that you and your [relative] shared as well as he shared with his entire family.  I know that he will be missed by may people.  I am so sorry for your loss."

So here's the list. I think its wonderful and wanted to share.

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. I am so sorry for your loss. 2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care. 3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can. 4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers. 5. My favorite memory of your loved one is… 6. I am always just a phone call away 7. Give a hug instead of saying something 8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you 9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything 10. Saying nothing, just be with the person

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief

1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young 2. He is in a better place 3. She brought this on herself 4. There is a reason for everything 5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now 6. You can have another child still 7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him 8. I know how you feel 9. She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go 10. Be strong


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